Sad! Sad! Sad! Yesterday, I sent an email to my dear bf, telling him to find another gf who live near him or from his own country. At first, he find me funny to asked him that, but I told him I am serious. He is not happy with my decision but at the same time, he give his blessings. He give his blessings if that make me happy. If I am happy with my decision, then he will be happy too...after he says that....suddenly I feel so sad and my heart in pains!.... my tears starting to drops...its uncontrolable....I cried and cried and cried..... Luckily, no tourists around or else, shame la to see me crying. I feel sad, very sad!. Maybe, I am selfish to do this to him kan.....but maybe also, we are not fated to be together....So sad kan...after we been friends for so long.
It is not that I don't love or like him, I do. He is a nice, loving and faithfully bf. But he just could not make his mind or decision, on how our friendship or relationship end in the future. When I asked him, he says, "I don't know". And when I asked him again when I can visit him again or he visit me... the answered "I don't know", maybe 2 years from now". 2 years??? Its too long for me to wait..... So, I have been thinking deeply, and talked with my friends and family, they advised me to follow my heart...so I did.
We been friends for 5 years ( since mid 2005 - todate), thats a long time. But if you ask me again to wait for another 2 years, I don't think I am patient enough now. I am not getting younger anymore, so life have to go on. We both have to find new friends, new friendship and maybe new love. And of course, old friends still remain as best friends forever. And that, you can count on me, I will always be in touch with all my friends.
Well, we did not broke off totally, we still in contact everyday thru emails and YM, but at the same time, I am planning my way to somewhere.....my plans will not happen that fast, but at least I am free now to do what I have to do, and to target my plans.
My dear bf, I am sorry, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I think it is the best for us. My advice, find new friends, much better who live near you ( so that easy to meet), and we still stays as Special friends forever. We keep in touch always.....and you always welcome to visit Borneo again. And I hope I am still welcome to visit you and your family in future too.....
I will always remember you, and the good times we have share together. Our friendship will never died...I will always treasured it......
Take care and God Blessed.
